A Demonic Rondevou
by AsparagusZeTurkey
Summary: What would happen if Mogget was having a bad day, and takes a vacation? What if Calcifer has a bad day too, and decides to take a trip? And what would happen if they met? ...and I really suck at summaries. It's not as bad as it sounds. I promise. ONESHOT!


**Disclaimers:** I ain't Garth Nix, nor Diana Wynne Jones (or Takaya Natsuki), but wouldn't it be spiffy if I was?

I basically just started wondering what might happen if Mogget and Calcifer ever met. I've just finished Howl's Moving Castle (loved the movie, but the book is WAY better), and I was trying to explain the seven necromantic bells of the Abhorsen to my mum when this idea dropped in. I don't normally like character cross-over stories...where a character gets 'transported' to another fictional realm. It just doesn't float my boat, but now my perspective has changed! I'm a new person! ...Sorta. I left the description of where they are kinda iffy, so they could be in either worlds, or one some totally different one.

Hokay! The perspectives change a bit, so it starts off with Mogget, then changes to Calcifer, and then becomes 3rd person. It's marked with the liney thing. Yes? Yes.

Also, if you haven't read the Abhorsen Trilogy, and haven't read Howl's Moving Castle (or seen the movie), then this'll probably make no sense at all to you. Heh. Sorry.

* * *

Ever since being freed from that stupid red leather collar, it seems I've been having an even harder time getting respect around here. You'd think that after finally choosing to fight Orannis over hiding that I'd get respect…well, that makes both of us wrong.

Take Sabriel and Sam for instance. They and Lirael may live here at the Abhorsen's house, but they hardly even notice me anymore. Sabriel is _still_ the same as she was when she was an Abhorsen-In-Waiting, and that wood-boy Touchstone she married doesn't help…he's as thick as ever. But he does catch the best trout I've ever tasted. Sam used to talk to me a lot when I was helping him and Lirael, but now he's always shut up in his workroom, doing this and that. He never talks to me nowadays.

Lirael is always off training with Sabriel, battling a necromancer here, a free magic creature there…it sucks. Everyone's got a life but me, and this is _me_. ME! Yrael! One of the original Nine, and I don't have a life!

…I think I'm going off on a vacation. A nice place, where there's fish, and fowl, and large patches of sunlight to sleep in. That sounds nice. Yes. I'll leave right now, while everyone's out, so they can't stop me!

…

Just as soon as I finish my saucer of milk.

* * *

Hmph. All of them, out again. I swear. Why can't they invite me to come along for once? Sophie could ask me…hell, she could bully me into coming if it suited her! And Howl could just as easily. But nooooooo…I have to stay here and take care of the castle and play door-demon for them until they come back!

Well that's fine. Just fine. I like it in here…alone…no one to bother me. No 'I need hot water!' and no 'Let me cook!' Yeah. I'm perfectly happy here. Got nothing but time to keep me company. And listen! The castle echoes! Or was that a strong wind outside? Who cares. I'm going to have the time of my life while you're all gone! I'll party with my inner demon!

…Who am I kidding? No one. It's _boring_ in here alone. There's no one to talk to! And even if there were, nobody in this place understands me. Sophie's always busy running her flower shop now, just out of sight and earshot of me. And Howl's always out, doing whatever it is that he does. Michael's always hanging out with his girlfriend…and I'm _BORED!!!!_

That's IT! The second someone sets foot in this place, I'm GONE. I'll leave for a while, and then they'll be sorry when I don't come back for a long time.

…

Dear Merlin, I sound like Howl when he pouts! …I've gotta get out of here…

* * *

The little white cat, Yrael, more commonly known as Mogget, yawned widely, his little pink tounge appearing briefly. Stretching, he stood, and shook the loose leaf litter off of his coat.

_My vacation is a wonderfully dreary success…but a success. Hmph. Sam would say that. 'Look on the bright side…'_ Mogget looked around at his little clearing. The sun had moved around the sky, taking with it that wonderful warmth the little cat found so inviting. It had moved away from the patch of leaves Mogget was curled up in and had gone and hidden itself behind a tree.

The little cat had had no luck catching any tasty lunch yet either, and he was getting rather bored of sitting around batting at leaves and butterflies. He heaved a deep sigh, and looked up at the sky mournfully. Just as he was about to head back, he saw something dart across the sky. Perplexed, he raced off, following the direction it had gone.

Calcifer soared over the small forest, thoroughly enjoying himself as he flew in the form of a falling star. Looking down, he could see birds in the trees, deer grazing, and…a white cat? He slowed down as he passed over the cat to get a better look, but soon forgot about it in the joys of flying.

Just as he'd executed a magnificent loop-the loop, he caught sight of the white cat again. It was following him. Just to make sure, Calcifer flew on for a few seconds, and then veered hard to the right, and went that way. Sure enough, when he looked down, there was a pair of green eyes watching him from below.

He circled downwards slowly, and as he drew nearer, he heard a sarcastic voice calling up to him. "I suppose watching me chase after you was amusing, was it?"

"I wasn't sure if you were following me or something else." Replied Calcifer. As he drifted to the ground, he turned into his fire demon form and alighted on a piece of dead and rotting wood. "The name's Calcifer; I'm a fire demon, obviously."

Mogget swiped a paw around his ear once or twice before replying. "You may call me Mogget, but my real name is Yrael. I am a free magic creature of great power."

Calcifer smirked slightly at this proclamation, "Great power?" He asked innocently, sizing the small white cat up.

As an answer, Mogget changed first into his smaller dwarfish form, with his white robe and long white beard; and then into his free magic form, a pillar of white fire with a vaguely humanoid torso, head and arms.

Calcifer gaped. _Wow…_ He thought. When Mogget turned back into his cat form, Calcifer had new-found respect for him.

"May I ask, Calcifer, why you are here?" Mogget asked suddenly, his green eyes boring into Calcifer's orange ones.

"Actually, I wanted to get away from my friends. They never invite me out with them, like they think I don't want to come, but I do!" Calcifer answered truthfully.

Mogget swished his tail, "Ah, I see…That is very close to the reason I came here. To get away from people. No one ever talks to me anymore, and it's annoying."

Calcifer's flaming head bobbed up and down, which Mogget took to be a nod of agreement. "Yes, I know what you mean. They're all suddenly too busy to notice the demon in the house…"

Mogget sighed, "That's the sad truth. It just makes you want to scream, but I tried that, and it didn't get anyone's attention, so I gave up doing that too."

The flame demon bobbed his head again. "You'd think they'd show us some more respect. I know I work my fiery bum off for Sophie and Howl, but all they day is to get more hot water, or to move a three ton castle 60 miles north."

"Wow…you move a castle around?" Mogget was taken aback for a moment, and it was Calcifer's turn to show off. He flared up as high as he could, and his flames turned many different colors, before he subsided back to his normal size. Mogget continued then, "Yes, we should be given more respect. I risked my life helping to seal away the ninth bright shiner, and what did they do? Well, other than free me from my centuries old imprisonment, nothing!"

"Yeah! We're _demons_ for pity's sake! They could at least be a little afraid of what we could potentially do."

Mogget half lidded his eyes in amusement, "Yeah…" He said almost dreamily, "Ransack a few villages, set free a couple of other fellow demons…"

"Eat little kids, trick people…" Calcifer picked up right where Mogget left off.

They both gazed up at the sky, thinking of all the wonderfully evil and demonic things they could do to earn the respect and fear they deserved.

Calcifer glanced at Mogget, and Mogget glanced at Calcifer.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Calcifer asked.

"I might be…" Mogget replied, and devilish grins that would have sent children crying and midwives running appeared on the two demons' faces.

* * *

Sorry for the blarbyness at the beginning. I can't help it sometimes. Reviews would be much appreciated, since this is my first oneshot fic, and only my second fic ever. I'd like to know how I did! 


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